6 January 2009, 9:00 pm
My wife and I have been married for 22 years. We have 3 children, 6 cars, her dream home (old historic house) and I have a very secure job. I manage all the finances, pay bills, file taxes, manage checking and savings accounts, etc. I'm a Christian actively involved in our local church. But, our marriage needs help. My wife has been sleeping on the couch for the last year. It began because she said that our mattresses hurt her back. Then she said that I "bothered her" in bed when i touched her. She quit kissing me about the same time. When I asked her why she no longer kissed me she said that I had chronic bad breath. We never touch each other. The last time I recall touching her was at our Christmas gathering at my parents house. She was leanging over and I put my hands on her waist like I was going to push her over. She turned around and slapped me several times in front of the entire family (22 people) and told me to never do that again, that she was "very ticklish." After making a spectacle of herself, she proceeded to tell everyone how her Peditrician told her dad that she was the most ticklish child that he had seen. I could go on and on because this has been going on for the last year or so. I understand that there are always 2 sides to every story and I've been searching to try and figure out what I'm doing wrong. She recently told me that I embarrass her in front of friends because I say things that degrade her. I cannot say the subtlest joke about her in public for fear of upsetting her. So, I've learned to just keep my mouth shut and never bring up anything in conversation that may be controversial. I cannot disagree with anything she says so I've learned to agree verbally with EVERYTHING she says. I've been doing this for the last several months or so but we don't seem to be making any headway. Okay, what should I do? I signed us up for the "Fireproof" marriage counseling but we only went to 2 of the 4 sessions. She began the Love Dare with me but it only lasted about 1 week. I don't enjoy being around her anymore because I never know when she's going to blow her top. This is not a healthy way to live a marriage. I hate to say this because it sounds so childish but she behaves like spoiled brat! We are isolated from each other but divorce is not an option. What should we do? Addition - In response to one of the answers, I took her on a romantic weekend trip to Savannah and Beaufort, SC. We rode bikes and walked the beach. My daughter was with us (she LOVES the kids!). I hoped that this trip would help restore our relationship but I don't recall getting a "thank you" from her. Made no difference whatsoever.... Read More »
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